Toddler Self-care Milestones

Rates of individual development may be as different as toddler's personalities. Some little people may be speaking in two- to three-word sentences before they are 15 months old, while others may not be interested in communicating verbally at all. Skill comparison among peers can be a scary thing for many parents, especially since it begs the question: "Can this child do more than mine? Is he smarter? Are his fine/gross motor skills more advanced?" Etc.

Typically, many parental worries are unfounded. Here are a number of self-help skills your toddler should be able to master in her second to third year of life:

- Feeding with fork and spoon:
Most toddlers will have figured out how to maneuver food to their mouths with the help of a spoon or fork by 17 or 18 months of age. Some younger toddlers may display interest in self-feeding as early as 12 or 13 months old. By preschool age, between 3 and 4 years, your child will be a pro at holding and using her eating utensils.

- Undressing:
Many toddlers will quickly learn to remove a pesky clothing item by 12 to 24 months of age. Many little people love removing their socks, mittens, hats, shoes, pants, and occasionally even their diapers (careful, this could get messy!) Undressing is a fun, new accomplishment celebrated by your toddler, and while this new skill can get a bit frustrating when time constraints come into the picture, be sure to monitor your response and acknowledge his ability to successfully remove his clothing in a positive way. Advanced undressing skills also invite the opportunity to address appropriate dress styles. For example, it is okay to take off your socks at Auntie’s house, but it is not okay to take off your diaper, underwear, or t-shirt.

- Brushing teeth:
Early dental hygiene is important for getting babies and toddlers used to having their teeth brushed. Most toddlers still love exploring new habits and will be excited to try out holding their own toothbrush and cleaning their teeth by themselves as early as 16 months of age. While young children won’t be able to give their teeth a thorough cleaning, it is important to give them a chance to test this new skill. Just be sure to do a follow up after your child is done brushing and thoroughly brush her teeth after she’s done her part. Or take turns: Your child brushes the top row and you get to scrub the bottom row of her teeth. You may also let her complete the morning brushing, while you make sure her evening brushing is done the right way.

- Washing and drying hands:
At around 24 months of age, most children will be able to pull up a step stool, turn on the water, squeeze some liquid soap into their palms, and wash their hands independently (though still messily at times). A great time to help your child master this skill is when he is getting ready to toilet-train. This way he will learn the importance of proper bathroom hygiene to prevent the spread of germs.

- Dressing:
While undressing comes relatively easy to young toddlers, dressing is a much tougher skill to master. Most toddlers are closer to 24 months of age when they are finally able to put on lighter, looser clothing without help. Skirts, shorts, and pants with elastic bands are typically some of the first times toddlers will learn to put on. T-shirts and short-sleeve dresses may take a bit longer to get the hang of.

- Toilet training:
Some toddlers may be ready to learn to use a training toilet, snap-on potty seat, or the regular toilet between ages 18 to 24 months. However, toileting is a completely different physical skill that not only requires mental readiness but also awareness of physiological signs, such as recognizing what a full bladder feels like or that a bowel movement is typically preceded by a specific sensation in the tummy. Children who are able to partially undress, especially by removing their pants or skirts, may be showing signs of potty-readiness. Young children may also be ready to use the potty once they are able to tell you that they have to go before they soil their diapers or pull-ups.

Always remember: Individual development does not proceed on a constant. Each child may reach a different milestone before or after her peers, but this is completely normal. While some children may take more interest in certain self-help skills and excel at different tasks, others may not yet be as curious to explore and learn these skills, simply because they may be used to having their needs already met in a certain way that works for them. Shy children may also be a bit more hesitant to demonstrate self-help skills in a public setting. There are a number of factors to consider when trying to determine whether your child's development is proceeding at the right rate. Of course, if you feel that she has not yet mastered an important milestone by a critical age, it is never a bad idea to mention your concerns to her pediatrician at her next check-up just to be sure.